Loving-Kindness: A Worthy Practice that Requires Practice

Dr. Elliot S. Dacher (2006) couldn't be more accurate when he stated, "I have found from personal experience that in the beginning contemplative practice requires effort" (p. 66). I know that my mind is busy with thoughts of daily duties, concerns, and planning; but until I started this and other meditative practices within this course I never realized the effort required to mute the internal chatter and relax, look inward to explore the healing resources within. The challenge is this: When I find a quite moment and engage in a quiet meditation I often fall asleep, once I've relaxed enough to actually meditate that is. This being said, the only way to attain the benefit of the loving-kindness practice is through repetition and that's what I intend to do; I will continue, even for five minute intervals, until I get a handle on the basic practice and can engage in longer contemplative sessions.

I would recommend this exercise to others because we live in an over-taxed society, overwrought with mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual stimulation. We all need to begin a practice that encourages stillness and calm; we all need to see the perspective of another that may differ from our own with compassion and sympathy. Many wars, and general societal discords, stem from misunderstanding: We see ourselves as "us" and those from different cultures and/or perspectives as "them" which always sets the stage for division and egocentric power struggles.

The meaning and purpose of the "mental workout":

A mental workout is the equivalent of a physical workout but for the mind. To be an Olympian one must train vigorously and daily, likewise with the mental workout it is imperative to engage in practice (e.g., loving-kindness or the subtle mind) daily. In order to sharpen the mind and remain in a state of diminished ego, and with an open heart, it is important to reflect on the needs of others above our own. It is key that we remove ourselves as the center of our own universe, where all revolves around our feelings, needs and wants. It is important to note the ultimate aim of contemplative practice, stated by Dacher (2006), "The most meaningful aim of contemplative practice is not rest and relaxation but rather the progressive development of an expanded consciousness and its healing capacities" (p. 65).

A closer look at loving-kindness:

Loving-kindness is a daily practice of the actual act of love. Loving-kindness is moving beyond the superficial sentiment of love into the action of love, whereby we remove our focus from ourselves and acquire a heightened concern for the well-being of our fellow man (Dacher, 2006). At first this contemplative practice of sending out love and receiving it in return, even from our perceived enemies, feels like work; the goal with the loving-kindness practice is to reach a state of consciousness where the practice is an integral and inextricable part of our attitude, and the physical practice is no longer needed because our lives become a daily expression of the practice.

According to Dacher (2006), research has shown that, "when we stop practicing, we will see a drop-off in our [psychospiritual] conditioning, whether physical or mental" (p. 65). Like an athlete, we must be diligent in our contemplative practice to maintain our contemplative/psychospiritual progress and growth.

The daily practice of the mental workout will likely prove beneficial to me as a means of centering myself and giving more attention to the purging of mental and emotional junk that I might harbor for long periods of time without a practice to consciously address and rid myself of it. Loving-kindness is about opening our heart toward others but it's also a great self-accountability tool to gauge where we are emotionally. The daily practice of loving-kindness encourages us to tackle issues that may hold us back at their root.

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral Healing: The Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.